Of Journals and Dreams
by The Castle in the Clouds
Summary: When Slave 23 receives the name Van Hoenhiem from The Dwarf in the Flask he begins having vivid and lucid dreams about a childhood and brother he never had, a childhood where everyone calls him Edward Elric. As his dreams become more of a nightmare, newly named Hoenhiem contemplates telling The Dwarf in the Flask about his unsettling nights.
1. Words on a Page

_**Hello! Here is another story idea that came to me one night. I had several different drafts and versions on how I would manage to pull this off, but I think I got it! So anyways, I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think about the story and the whole concept. I've never written anything like this before so its an all new territory for me :)**_

 _Summary:_ When Slave 23 receives the name Van Hoenhiem from The Dwarf in the Flask he begins having vivid and lucid dreams about a childhood and brother he never had, a childhood where everyone calls him Edward Elric. As his dreams become more of a nightmare, newly named Hoenhiem contemplates telling The Dwarf in the Flask about his unsettling nights.

 _Disclaimer:_ I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters, I'm just interpreting their dreams XD

* * *

 _ **Of Journals and Dreams**_

 _ **A story written by: The Castle in the Clouds**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 1: Words on a Page**_

Van Hoenhiem took a deep breath and put his pencil to the page, wondering how he would do this. It was simple, right? Just write down what you thought. No one would read it after all, so what was the big deal?

"Here goes."

 _Day 1,_

 _I can finally keep this journal. When I first met The Dwarf in the Flask I didn't know how to read or write, but after time he taught me how. It was challenging, but I was able to grasp the concept. Now all I need to do is keep it a secret from my master. If he had his wish I would forever mop floors and give my blood for his experiments._

 _But that's how Homunculus, The Dwarf in the Flask was created - from my blood, I mean. So maybe it turned out to be a good thing after all._

 _I don't know._

 _But regardless I can now keep this journal and write down all my thoughts and feelings as if there were someone on the other side of these pages, someone who actually cared about me._

 _Well, I mean The Dwarf in the Flask cares about me... but I'm talking about a real living and breathing person. A human being._

 _I shouldn't be like that, for all I know the Flask is a human. It just feels different with him... or her? Uh... it?_

 _Whatever._

 _Anyway, like I said it's nice to be able to turn my thoughts into a physical thing. Into words on a page._

 _Speaking of which, something weird has been happening to me lately... and by lately I mean last night._

 _So here's the thing - I had this strange dream about me as a child. I had long blond hair like I do now, except my features are different and I'm much shorter. Along with that I had an arm and a leg made of some sort of advanced machinery. Also I apparently have a younger brother named Hal? Or Cal? Or was it Earl?_

 _Hell, I don't know, all I know is that it has an "AL" sound to it. Damn pronunciation..._

 _Along with my weird armor wearing brother I guess I have a friend called Winry and a **really** old friend named Taco? or was it Pistachio? _

_Damn freaking names, I'll send em' all to hell._

 _The strangest part though is that no one calls me 23 or even Van Hoenhiem. Everyone in the dream refers to me as Edward Elric, whoever the hell that is._

 _It all feels so real, as if I was there. As if I **was** this Edward Elric person._

 _I don't know, I hope I don't have any more dreams like this. Its both haunting and teasing at the same time. Haunting me as if It were a memory or prophecy and teasing me by showing me what I **didn't** have... What I would probably **never** have._

 _A family._

 _Well whatever. It was just a dream right? I mean, it's not like it was real, right? My life is here, in this shitty place with a shitty master and my only friend that lives in a shitty flask and looks like a pile of..._

 _That was close. I shouldn't be so rude._

 _He really is a nice guy, and he has way more knowledge than I gave him credit for. He feels like a guardian, like he was created to show me all this. Maybe its because he was born from my blood. Maybe that makes us brothers?_

 _I don't know, all I know is that I'm glad to have this journal. Glad to be able to read and write. I guess in the end that's all that matters, not some stupid dream that messes with my head._

* * *

Hoenhiem closed his worn out journal and slipped it inside his pillowcase, making sure that his master wouldn't find it. He then proceeded to gather some cleaning supplies, namely a bucket, water, and an old dirty mop. With a sigh he dipped the mop in the wooden bucket and began sloshing it on the floor, cleaning the dirt and picking up and "debris" his master left behind. As Hoenhiem worked away he couldn't help but to think of what the Dwarf in the Flask said to him the other day.

 _You can change your circumstances._

What did that mean? Did it mean him as a slave? Obviously. But it could also mean him as a person, or maybe the dwarf in the flask itself? It was straightforward and cryptic at the same time. Was it meant to be that way?

"Hey, Hoenhiem," that same voice spoke out. "Come here a second."

Van sighed and left the mop in the bucket before walking over. "Yeah? I have work I need to get done."

The single-eyed entity gave a nod and flashed his signature and slightly creepy smile. "It won't be long, I just thought you might want to take a look at a certain book."

Hoenhiem's confused look prompted the dwarf in the flask to continue further. "Your master, as you call him - he's very proud of my creation. In fact, he takes me into his study to help him out with _certain_ things. When I was in there with him I spotted a book on alchemy. Its a beginners book he must have kept all these years. I think you should read it."

Van's eyes widened as he instinctively eyed the door to his master's study. "B-but I'm forbidden to step foot in there," he protested nervously.

The Dwarf rolled his single eye as he made another attempt. "Look, he's out and won't even know that you were in there. If you take it you can start learning alchemy on your own!"

Hoenhiem nodded as he contemplated the idea, but it soon felt outside the realm of possibilities. "What if he notices it's gone?"

"He won't," reassured the Flask. "When I'm in there with him he never even _looks_ at it. And besides, it's not like he needs it. He is _way_ beyond beginners alchemy."

Van shook his head as he retuned to the mop, grasping the handle a bit harder as he continued his slave work.

"Sorry, but I don't want a lashing."

The dwarfed flask sighed and pivoted to look out the window in silence.

"You know," it finally spoke up. "I always wanted to be out of this flask. To see the world... But I can't survive out of the flask and so I'm bound to it until I find a different vessel to carry me. But you...,"

The homunculus swiveled back, eyeing the saddened slave before him. "You can change your circumstances."

* * *

 _Day 2,_

 _That dream was back. I was stuck in a body that wasn't mine with a brother that wasn't mine. And the worse part of it all was that it felt like I wasn't the one speaking. It felt like something was speaking for me, as if everything I would say was already planned and written out._

 _Okay, so here it is. I figured if I write it down it would make a little more sense._

 _In my dream me and my armored brother were at a counter eating in a hot and undesirable place._

 _Well, actually it reminded me of Xerses. But different..._

 _Anyway, something happened and a radio broke. So using alchemy my "brother" fixed it. It was amazing really, made me want to be able to do it myself. But anyways after that people swarmed him and called him by the name "Fullmetal Alchemist," which made sense since he wore that suit of armor._

 _But the weird part is that he pointed to me and said that_ **_I_** _was the Fullmetal Alchemist. I was actually surprised in my own body, but for some reason I ended up getting real mad._

 _Oh, and a side note too. His name is Al. Not Hal or Earl. He said that he was the younger brother named Alphonse Elric._

 _Younger, huh? Why the hell his he so damn tall then?_

 _Whatever. Anyways we did a whole thing on alchemy and proved that some Sun God thing was fake. It really felt pointless until we had a showdown with their "priest."_

 _During the fight he unleashed a chimera. Chimera... In the dream it said that a chimera was born out of alchemy by combining two living things... or something like that._

 _It made me wonder if my homunculus friend was a chimera too. Except he's a lot different than what was in my dream._

 _Okay, back to the dream._

 _We fought the chimera and won, but then I said something that made me wonder. Something about a Philosophers' Stone. Something about it being able to bypass the law of equivalent exchange. I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds important to me._

 _I also learned that this Edward person I embody and his brother attempted to bring their mom back from the dead with alchemy, and for some reason that's the reason they are the way they are. Why Edward had metal limbs, and Al... why h_ _e's hollow. There is no one inside of him. I'm not sure exactly **how** that's possible, but then again this is just a dream._

 _But back to the stone. The priest guy ended up having one and we were so close to getting it, but it ended up breaking. Apparently it was a fake and the real one was out there still._

 _That means that these guys will keep looking for it. To get their bodies back and, according to Alphonse, to live a normal life._

 _I'm not sure if all this is supposed to represent something or not. If their circumstances are supposed to reflect mine or what. But after all that alchemy talk I'm really questioning whether I should take that book in the morning. My master will be gone again, and I think I can find a place to hide it._

 _Can I learn alchemy? I mean, I just barley learned to read and write. How can I understand alchemy and applied theory? I don't know if I can._

 _But maybe it's worth a shot?_


	2. The Book and The Girl

_**Hello, and happy first day of March! I hope everyone enjoyed their extra day in February, because I didn't realize it was leap year until the day was almost over. But hey, I got my next chapter written XD Hope you guys enjoy!**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 2: The Book and The Girl**_

* * *

Hoenhiem watched as the wooden door closed, the crude metal door lock ringing out. He then took a deep breath and nervously walked over to his master's study, each footstep heavy and reluctant. What the hell was he thinking?

He stood there, his toes digging into the grout of the worn out tile. This could change his life forever, or doom it to uncertain hellish consequences. But was it as bad as being a slave forever?

 _Damn... here goes._

Van grasped the handle and pushed the door, its old hinges creaking in protest. There was darkness. But despite the uneasy feel of the room he kept going, slowly opening the door until it was wide open. Hoenhiem reached in the doorway as he grabbed a small oil lamp, his feet still planted firm on the ground.

"Your really are scared aren't you?" teased the flask as he watched the event unfold. The blonde slave took a deep breath and light the oil lamp, its rays lighting up the room in an instant. There was an old desk against the far wall and bookshelves full of all kinds of study material. It was small but functional.

"Whoa,"

With a deep breath Van took a single step in, freezing as if he had just committed a terrible sin. He then took another step and slowly made his way to one of the bookshelves, the lamp revealing the titles on the worn out spines.

 _Beginners Alchemy... I just have to find it._

His finger ran across each book until the shelf ran out. No dice. Hoenhiem turned around and walked to the next shelf, inspecting it as well. It had to be in here, well he _knew_ it was, it was just a matter of finding it.

 _Advanced Alchemic Recipes... Human anatomy... The Make up of the World... The Sexual Reproduction of Flowers?_

"Wait... What the hell?" Hoenhiem lingered on the out-of-place title, shaking his head as he resumed the search.

"Ah, there you are you little bastard." The nervous intruder griped the book and stood up, quickly making his way out of the study.

"Did you find it?" inquired the dwarf in the flask.

"Yeah, got it." Hoenhiem shut the door and walked over to the desk in the main room, sitting down and opening the book. "This better be worth it."

The dwarf chuckled and flashed his famous smile. "Don't worry! You'll find _all_ your answers in here. Trust me."

Van looked up and gave a weak smile. "Hope so."

* * *

 _Day 3,_

 _Damn dream. Whoever the hell Edward Elric is I'm sick of dreaming of him. If this doesn't stop then this entire journal will be filled with this jacked up dream. But I need to get it off my chest, so yeah. I decided it was best to journal at night when my master is asleep, that way I cant get caught. Besides, I'm not sure how upset he would be to find out that I can read and write. Well, here goes._

 _This time me and my brother saved some town called Youswell. To be honest I don't really understand how that was important for me to dream about, but whatever. All we did was save it from some crooked military guy and gave it back to the residents. And why was its called Youswell? I don't get how these things manifest in my mind. Speaking of which:_

 _This time I figured out that I'm in a country called Amestris, and apparently its a militarized state. Now I'm not sure if its a real place or just something my imagination concocted last night, but apparently that's where me and my armored brother live. So yeah..._

 _Oh, also I'm apparently a state alchemist called the Fullmetal Alchemist... Wait, well I guess I figured that out in my last dream but whatever._

 _The really weird part about all of this is that when I'm dreaming, I forget who I am. Its only when I wake up that I remember I'm **not** this Edward Elric person. In the dream I show genuine concern (especially for Al) and feel scared, or threatened, or mad. Yeah, this guy gets pissed off real easy and real fast._

 _Side note: I took that alchemy book and hid it somewhere safe, but to be honest It wasn't as bad as I thought. Really it was simple enough to try, although I never did. The weirdest part is that I remember that stuff when I'm in my dream. When I preform alchemy in the dream it just happens by slapping my hands together (which is probably fake)_

 _What I don't like is that when I'm Edward... its like... How do I explain this? When I'm him its like everything is scripted, like it all happens without me wanting it to... As if it was written or made that way. If I think about it now, I don't understand why I did what I did, In my dream it just... happens._

 _Weird right?_

 _Well anyway, after the Youswell part of the dream I ended up on a train. And guess what? I had some crazy ass battle with some hyped up train robbers who wanted to take the train or something._

 _Now, remember when I said things just happen? That I don't control the outcome?_ _Well Edward decided to kick their asses and beat them up and stuff. To be honest I wouldn't have risked my life, but for some reason I did. But to tell you the truth I kind of enjoyed it. The whole thing was an adrenaline rush and made me feel awesome in some way. Dumb as that sounds..._

 _So anyway, me and Al end up at a train station where a guy named Roy Mustang scorched the poor bastard. Oh, he also called himself the flame alchemist and was with the military. So yeah, that happened too._

 _After all that I ended up waking up to find my master in his study. Damn I cant tell you how nervous I am. I hope he doesn't notice the missing book._

 _That reminds me! What the hell does flower reproduction have to do with alchemy?! The asshole probably gets off on reading it, yeah I bet that's why its in there._

 _Weirdo._

 _Well I better finish up and hide this thing before he comes out. I have to run an errand for him today which is nice. It gets me out and what not, so it'll be good._

* * *

The sun was bright and the heat of Xerxes was unrelenting. Nonetheless Van made his way through the market as he enjoyed the time outdoors. It felt good to have the sun bake on his skin and to feel beads of sweat on the back of his neck.

"Ok, lets see." Hoenhiem fished out a list and began scanning over it. "Medicinal herbs of any kind... Some bone marrow... New seeds for the garden, make sure to grab more than one kind... Some salt... Some sulfur..." Van finished rambling off the list as he sighed and shoved it in his pocket, fingering the coins that shared the space.

"Ok, Herbs." The blonde made his way through the open market, trying to ignore the various sales pitches that rung in his ear. The market was in an open space that held many various stalls that sold an array of goods, every one of them singing out a sales pitch to attract customers. In a way it was orderly chaos.

He made his way through, eventually ending up at a stall that housed many different herbs. Upon approaching the counter, Van was welcomed by an attractive girl. She was a smidge shorter than him and had skin that was tanned by the sun. Along with her beautiful features he noticed she had a small portion of her hair dyed pink.

"Hello sir!" the woman greeted cheerfully. Hoenhiem smiled and pulled out his list, taking another glace at the girl. Why was it she seemed familiar?

"Uh, yeah. I need some medicinal herbs if you have them." Van shoved the list back in the pocket, feeling stupid for even pulling it out. All his master wrote was 'medicinal herbs' so it wasn't very much help.

"Sure! What kind do you need?" she prompted.

"Uh..."

The woman giggled and smiled, it was obvious he had no idea what it was he needed. "Here, let me see that list." she held out her hand as he placed it in her palm.

"So, medicinal herbs? Looks like whoever gave you this list wasn't good at elaborating."

Hoenhiem gave a weak smile and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, he probably does that on purpose just to screw with me."

The girl giggled again. "Well, let me see what I have okay?" she disappeared behind a curtain that represented a backroom, leaving him to his thoughts.

 _Why do I know her? I've never seen her until today, but for some reason she strikes me as a vague memory. Where did I meet her? It cant be a memory If I never seen her before? But then why?_

Honehiem's eyes widened as a realization struck him. She's n _ot from a memory... but a dream._

"Here you go!" the woman announced as she laid a pile of herbs on the counter. "These are the best medicinal herbs I have, it should do the trick for whoever gave you that list."

Van smiled and placed several coins on the table. "Will this do?"

The girl nodded and scooped them up as she placed them in some sort of container. "Thank you, and I hope to see you soon!"

Hoenhiem turned to leave, but he couldn't. There was something he had to ask her first. "Excuse me."

She turned around and smiled. "Can I help you with something else?"

"No, it's just... would your name happen to be Rose?"

The girl flashed a smile and shook her head. "No, but you were close! It's actually Violet. Violet Amethyst Rose to be exact. So I guess you were close enough, have we met before?"

Van shook his head and waved. "No, just an intuition I guess."

Violet waved back as she watched him take off, sighing as he faded out of sight. "How strange..."

The market was still as busy as ever as Hoenhiem made his way through the sea of sharks, trying to keep his head straight as he looked for the next item on his list.

 _So Rose was her last name then? Violet Amethyst Rose? She wasn't exactly like the girl in my dream, but she sure was close. What was it I said to her... Get up and walk, you have two good legs? Or... or was it Get up with your strong legs and... Ugh! It doesn't matter. How the hell is it that I dreamt of a girl I never met before? It was probably just a-,_

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted as he plowed into the ground, the herbs spilling out of his arms.

"Grab them!" cried a nearby voice. Hoenhiem picked himself up and rubbed his head, looking around to find several guys looting the coins he had dropped.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing! Those are mine!"

The thieves shot Van a look as they flashed a wicked grin. "Not today mate!" said one of them as they took off.

"Ah Shit." sighed Hoenhiem as he took off after the robbers.

 _Today is just not my day..._


End file.
